This article was written in December, 2022, as a reflection on studying humility through the C.S. Lewis Institute Fellows program.
One of my big take-aways from this month’s study is that my idea of “pride” was pretty narrow. I probably would have defined pride as “considering oneself better than someone else.” However, humility (which is the opposite of pride), goes well beyond just that. True humility means self forgetfulness, looking toward the needs of others, considering others more important, being teachable, prioritizing the glory of God instead of our own glory, rejoicing at the success of others etc. As Andrew Murray put it in his fantastic little book “Humility”, “It is a soul that serves God and for his sake serves all” (pg. 46). So, pride is perhaps better defined as “self-importance” which comes forth in manifold ways.
Manifestations of Pride:
Pride is sneaky because it shows up in many ways, and differently for different people. For instance, “people pleasers” may defer to others, but it’s because they want to be liked by those people, which is actually a motive that has the self at its center. On the other hand, some people (including myself) are less likely to care what other people think, but this is also because of pride. Often, I value my own opinion and standards more than other peoples, which is again a prioritization of myself. So here, the root of pride results in two opposite behaviors – people pleasing or not regarding the opinions of others. Tim Keller addresses this in “The Freedom of Self- Forgetfulness.” He points out that in the past, and still in certain other cultures today, people perceive our problems as being a result of too much self esteem. Keller says our culture, however, pins our problems on too little self esteem, and encourages people to think better of themselves, and set their own standards instead of looking to others for approval. However, both sides of that scale are weighted with pride, and neither living with high or low self esteem will result in a healthy ego. The answer scripture gives is to forget about the ego and self altogether. We are not to value the opinions of others, or our own judgements about ourselves, but instead we should care only what God says of us – and his judgement about us is made already. So pride can take you in all sorts of directions, but humility will lead you to let go of judgements about self altogether, and turn you to looking outward at others, without interpreting all things in relation to yourself.
One Reason its Hard for me to Put Away Pride:
Over the past months in this program, the issue of trusting God has been the continuing thread. If I don’t trust that God wishes to reveal himself and his will to me, I won’t read scripture. If I don’t trust God will answer my prayers I won’t pray. This month (and last month, studying prayer) trust was especially evident as an issue holding me back. The readings emphasize that humility means to lay aside one’s own interest. To let go of self-assertion and self-protection. Martin Lloyd-Jones says when we are humble “we no longer protect ourselves…a complete absence of the spirit of retaliation, having our own back, or seeing that the other person pays for it…We are to leave everything – ourselves, our rights, our cause, our whole future – in the hands of God…with a quietness in spirit and in mind and heart.” (Studies on the Sermon on The Mount, Vol.1 Chapter 6, Pgs. 57-59). But, it is extremely hard to do that, unless you believe there is a good God who you can depend on to ‘have your back’. Scripture teaches us that God exalts the humble. This is not intended to motivate us in the sense that we act ‘humble’ so we will be made high (then we don’t really have a humble spirit) but perhaps it is included as an assurance that we don’t need to look out for ourselves because God will look out for us. Murray says “He (Jesus) lost nothing by giving everything to God. The Father honored his trust and did all for him and then exalted him to his own right hand in glory” (Humility, pg. 23). In calling us to be humble, God asks us to follow Christ’s example and entrust ourselves to him, letting go of our need to promote or preserve ourselves. “When they hurled insults at him (Jesus), he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1Peter 2:23). Like our Lord, we can take the lowliest position and do the menial things, and not justify ourselves before our accusers, because we can trust our Father in heaven to do justice for us and exalt us.
Along these lines, Andrew Murray spent a portion of his book discussing the relationship between faith and humility. This section stood out to me. Murray points out faith and humility are allied in scripture. There are two times where Jesus remarks on someone’s faith, and both instances follow a display of deep humility from the person Jesus later commends. One is the centurion who says “I am not worthy to have you come under my roof, but just say the word and my servant will be healed” (Matthew 8:8). The other is the Canaanite woman who pled for Jesus to heal her demon possessed child, saying “even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Faith and pride cannot go together, because faith requires a surrender to God, waiting and trusting in dependence on him. As Murray says, “Is it not in itself the most humbling thing there can be – the acceptance of our place as dependents, who can claim or get or do nothing but what grace bestows? Humility is simply the disposition which prepares the soul for living on trust” (Murray, Pg. 68).
Case Study: Job
This month I did a close reading of Job. I had not noticed before, but it seems like Pride is actually a key theme in Job. Although Job is admirable in that he does not forsake God, deny him and walk away, he does accuse God of things which are not true (i.e. “God assails me and tears me in his anger…he seized me by the neck and crushed me” Job 16:9, 12). In a way, it seems Job’s accusations of God arise because Job considers himself to ‘know better’ than God, to be in the right while God has been unjust (“If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments” Job 23:3-4). His friends saw him to be “righteous in his own eyes” (Job 32:1) and God’s entire response to Job is one to humble him. Job thought if he could talk with God he would be in the right, but when he does speak with God he is humbled to say instead “I am of small account…therefore I will speak no more”. So much for “stating his case” to God.
As Job’s debate with his friends progresses, the three friends become more and more aggressive in their accusations of Job, in ‘defense’ of God. But the error both Job and his friends are falling into is viewing the situation as God v. Job. The friends side with God, and Job sides with himself. But the reality is that God was not against Job, and it is wrong for Job to “contend” with God (see Job 40:2). There was pride in the friends because they thought they were right in ‘defending’ God as being just to punish Job, and there was pride in Job to think he was in a position to accuse God.
I do not think it is wrong for us to bring our complaints before God. It is much better to verbalize them to God than to keep them inside (He sees our heart anyways). But it would be even better to not ‘contend’ with God, even amidst feelings of anger and doubt. When we feel like God has wronged us, we must not fall into thinking God has done wrong (that sets us up as being a better judge of wrong and right than God himself). We must not allow ourselves to believe God is against us, even in our pain and suffering.